May mga bagay sa buhay na ayaw na ayaw nating dinadaluhan.
Funerals.
Weddings.
Reunions.
Funerals because they are so damn lonely.
Weddings because we just don't like seeing other people feel happy.
Weddings because we just don't like seeing other people feel happy.
Reunions because we don't want ghosts of the past come alive once again.
Of course we can never really evade these events, we just always make things up kapag malapit na. At pag wala na maidahilan, mapipilitan ka na lang pumunta. And then catch yourself talking to your self yet again: it didn't go so bad, eh?
Because out of the darkness of our hearts we still long to feel these familiar emotions - not of grief but of appreciation of our own meaning of death; not of jealousy but of hope for bliss; not of bad memories but of jumping back to that paused time when nothing else mattered but us living the time of our high school lives.
So tapos na ang intro. Magkukuwento na ako.
THE INVITE
Last week, out of the blue I received an invite to join the group chat planning our high school reunion party. I knew I will not be able to attend so I just threw in an "ituloy nyo yan maganda yan" very non-committal and not so enthused comment. Tapos hindi na ako nagparamdam sa group. Although, in our JoRhoCel group chat we talk about all these. We check on the comments once in a while and comment in our own group. It's just that I am 60% sure that it's not going to transpire so medyo biased.
Last week, out of the blue I received an invite to join the group chat planning our high school reunion party. I knew I will not be able to attend so I just threw in an "ituloy nyo yan maganda yan" very non-committal and not so enthused comment. Tapos hindi na ako nagparamdam sa group. Although, in our JoRhoCel group chat we talk about all these. We check on the comments once in a while and comment in our own group. It's just that I am 60% sure that it's not going to transpire so medyo biased.
TO GO OR NOT TO GO
A week to the event day, parang hindi na lang drawing. I can see members slowly declining and lost count of who would actually go. I and Cel then planned to go check them out on the day itself, maybe spend an hour, but NOT the whole day with them. We just thought that it will do no good to our aging memory to linger for long in the reminisce lane. May ayaw na ayaw kaming makita duon na kabatch pero dahil sa tingin namin e nagmature na kami at alam naming mas matutuwa kaming makita ang nakararami, we decided to do a cameo appearance.
A week to the event day, parang hindi na lang drawing. I can see members slowly declining and lost count of who would actually go. I and Cel then planned to go check them out on the day itself, maybe spend an hour, but NOT the whole day with them. We just thought that it will do no good to our aging memory to linger for long in the reminisce lane. May ayaw na ayaw kaming makita duon na kabatch pero dahil sa tingin namin e nagmature na kami at alam naming mas matutuwa kaming makita ang nakararami, we decided to do a cameo appearance.
SOUVENIR SHIRTS, ANYONE?
I have no qualms going with a t-shirt uniform and I must say that Rhin's initiative was way more than expected. She did a good job with the design and how easily she took orders and printed the shirts even without having first to get ahold of the funds na sa event na mismo macocollect. But when I learned na puti ang kulay I didn't want to get one considering how sure I am that I will NOT use it again after. I just don't like whites in my wardrobe.
I have no qualms going with a t-shirt uniform and I must say that Rhin's initiative was way more than expected. She did a good job with the design and how easily she took orders and printed the shirts even without having first to get ahold of the funds na sa event na mismo macocollect. But when I learned na puti ang kulay I didn't want to get one considering how sure I am that I will NOT use it again after. I just don't like whites in my wardrobe.
Souvenir shirts give a sense of belongingness to something you actually identify yourself with. I am a part of Batch 2003 but I just didn't feel like it for this particular reunion.
If for example it was used to set up funding for future endeavors, by all means, do so.
FINAL GUEST LISTS ARE NEVER FINAL
Yes, it never is. High school reunions, well, yung mga self-organized para may disclaimer, have no tolerance for rsvps. Even those who confirmed are never confirmed until they arrive in the venue. If you are the organizer and is really on top of it you'll play a big role in ensuring that that list is final so good luck. Pwede nga kahit hindi kabatch e. But always anticipate people joining kahit wala sa group chat and there's just no way of avoiding them if they happen to be there already. What you can do is make them buy their own food which you would not do because nakakahiya mabuti na lang at sobra sobra ang handa. Or not.
Yes, it never is. High school reunions, well, yung mga self-organized para may disclaimer, have no tolerance for rsvps. Even those who confirmed are never confirmed until they arrive in the venue. If you are the organizer and is really on top of it you'll play a big role in ensuring that that list is final so good luck. Pwede nga kahit hindi kabatch e. But always anticipate people joining kahit wala sa group chat and there's just no way of avoiding them if they happen to be there already. What you can do is make them buy their own food which you would not do because nakakahiya mabuti na lang at sobra sobra ang handa. Or not.
LOGISTICS AND FUNDING
Eto na. Saan ang venue. Depende yan sa kung sino ang mag-iisponsor, kung iiisponsor lahat, kung bring a plate to share, o contri ng kaperahan. Bago magdiscuss ng funding, madami ang sure na sasama pero pag nagkatokahan na medyo magbabago ang bilang. Dito maaasahan ang event organizer dati ng klase - yung palaging tigagawa ng lakad noon. It wouldn't change much, people's passion, so designating what people used to do would more likely rekindle past experiences. It doesn't need to be on a very grandiose location, I just think that putting in some effort into what to do on the event itself other than eating is one of the crucial factors of a reunion's success.
Kaya sa reunion namin, para hindi mapagkamalang gate crashers, nagdala si M ng Andok's. Ang venue ay sa San Fernando in one of the beaches there and there were a lot of food at ang hindi mawawalang videoke at gin. Not that I encourage the later but for responsible people, it's not going to be a problem. Besides, we're not in high school anymore, we pretty much know how much damag alcohol does to our body.
BIG EVENT
So many are going to be very excited, with the group chat busy on updates kung nasaan na sila, ano ang hindi madadala, mga paki sa mga dadating pa, atbp.
So many are going to be very excited, with the group chat busy on updates kung nasaan na sila, ano ang hindi madadala, mga paki sa mga dadating pa, atbp.
There might be an air of awkwardness on the first hour, or even minutes after catching up which makes you realize what the hell of a gathering you put yourself into. Just make sure that you're putting in an effort to make any conversation linger, too because you know you went there to communicate. Don't tell me you can't think of any silly topic to supplement the dead air. After all you went there to see who you were when you were in high school and if you didn't like what you see, show to them how you have changed for the better.
Marami din ang mayayabang, mga hindi na nakaoutgrow sa levi's nilang pantalon at mamahaling nike dri-fit na damit kapag nagdedress down noon - pagtyagaan mo lang. Dapat sa age mo na ito tanggap mo na na hindi lahat ng tao pare-pareho.
Meron pa ding tahimik, pangiti-ngiti lang.
Yung dating kenkoy ng grupo malamang sa hindi sya pa din ang magdadala ng energy maliban na lang kung may pinagdadaanan sya sa buhay sa panahong nagrereunion kayo.
Marami ding mas naging maboka, mas interesting nang kausap kesa sa naaalala mo sa kanya dati. Meron ding hanggang ngayon wala pa ring kwentang kausap pero alam mong pag hindi sya sumama parang kulang ang attendance.
Madami ding makakarealize na andami nang nagbago sa yo hindi lang sa pananamit kundi pati na rin sa perspektibo mo sa buhay. So quits quits lang.
CLOSING CEREMONIES
Umalis na kami agad sa party after an hour kaya hindi ko alam kung paano nila niclose ito. Ako, sa tingin ko dalawa palagi ang pwedeng kalabasan, ang kagustuhang ulitin ang reunion dahil super nagenjoy o ang hindi na muna sa mahabang panahon dahil natraumatize. Yung huli, pwede kasing may mga old flames na kumbaga konting konting ningas na lang sa uling ang natira sa pagdaan ng panahon pero gawa ng reunion e nagflare up ulet. May mga tanga noon na pagkakita ulit sa mga pinagkatangahan e hindi na napigilan ang sariling magpakashunga ulit. Mga ganung eksena. Please lang maghunusdili ka kung ikaw ito. Gusto mong magpakatotoo sa pag-attend ng reunion pero wag na wag kang gagawa ng bagay na pagsisisihan mo habang buhay. Kasama na jan ng pagconfirm sa bansag sayo noong high school na - loko yang batang yan, hindi yan aasenso sa buhay.
POST EVENT REALIZATIONS
Akin lang naman to so maaaring hindi applicable sa iba. Narealize ko two-edged sword ang mga reunions. Yung pagkatapos mong malampasan yung mga payabangan at pabonggahan sa mga narating sa buhay, na incidentally e mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw mong dumalo in the first place, lalabas ang mga realizations na mapapangiti ka na lang at mapapatango kasi totoo.
Akin lang naman to so maaaring hindi applicable sa iba. Narealize ko two-edged sword ang mga reunions. Yung pagkatapos mong malampasan yung mga payabangan at pabonggahan sa mga narating sa buhay, na incidentally e mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw mong dumalo in the first place, lalabas ang mga realizations na mapapangiti ka na lang at mapapatango kasi totoo.
Mabubust mo ang mga myths tungkol sayo na sa paglipas ng madaming taon e ngayon lang nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob itanong sayo ng mga kaklase mo.
Maitatama mo ang mga maling impression tungkol sayo na marahil baka naging isang dahilan din sa hindi pagdalo ng kaklase mong dati e nasungitan mo o feeling nya ansungit mo at ayaw ka nyang makita kaya hindi na lang sya dadalo.
Sa buhay puro lang kasi tayo nakatingin sa kung ano'ng kulang at hindi maganda at ayaw natin sa ibang tao. Baka nagkukulang din tayo sa paggamit ng perspektibo nila para iassess ang kung ano naman ang kulang at hindi maganda at ayaw nila sa atin.
Sa reunion na to isa ako sa mga kumbaga sa pila noong high school ay nasa unahan kaya ang hindi pagdalo ay mangangahulugang masyado na akong mahirap abutin at ang pagdalo ay magsisilbing tagapagpaalala ng mga nakaraang masaya at nangungurot sa puso. So, saan tayo?
High school reunions after 15 years are as meaningful to them if you go and as meaningful to you, if you go as well.
Kaya may mga nagkakatuluyan, may mga away na mabubuhay, may mga bagong pagkakaibigan, bagong koneksyon na mabubuo. At sana higit pa dito, may mga muling mangangarap at magsisikap ulit na makamit ito.
