SUDOKU

6:40 pm - nagtext si jerum.. ang aking kababayan at kaibigan at katunggali sa mga paligsahan noong aming kabataan. sabi nya me petsa na ang kanyang pakikipagsapalaran sa saudi.

7:05 pm - nasa NBS ako.. naghahanap ng pwedeng ibigay na goodluck gift sa kanya. at naalala ko nung tinulungan nya kaming naglipat nabanggit nya na naaaddict sya sa sudoku. so i got one, then grabbed a bookmark that read "ay nakalimutan ko" basta go follow your dreams to that effect. sinulatan ko naman ung libro at nagdedicate:

Jerum,

I hope the book is enough to last you the next two years but i know that a day is enough for you to solve it.
malulungkot ka dun but we're just a text away to ease some of it.
magbaon ka na ng maraming powdered milk ni tita maria at samahan mo na din ng powdered sanmig para hindi mahuli ng mga arabo.
buh bye... ingatz
Rhoda

natawa naman ako sa binigay ko pero sabi nga nila.. it's the thought that counts. natuwa naman sya at sabi nya.. oi thanks.. magpicture tau... sabay labas ng kanyang sony cybershot 12.1, binaliktad ito at awtomatik namang nagpose ang bruhang katoto nyo. nakadalawang shot din kami kasi yung una e putol sya. masyadong matangkad ang bruho.

mayroong mga pagkakataong napapatunayan ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko naman palang maging kaibigan. supportive at that. tcwang! anyways i hope he does find his luck in there at natatawa naman ako sa sinabi nya:

siguro pagbalik ko me asawa ka na.
sabi ko naman, " hehehe, kunin nlang kitang ninong ng magiging anak ko."

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si Jerum, kalaban ko sya lagi noong elementary. hindi ko sya schoolmate. sa ibang school sya at mapacontest sa dama, science, epp.. kami ang naghaharap. astig astigan ang drama ko noon at natutuwa ata sya sa asta ko. hanggang dun lang ang eksena namin.

lumipas ang maraming taon, malalaki na kami. sya lang ang tumangkad. ako, nanatiling bansot. naging magkaibigan at magkakulitan sa text.

nito nito lang nung inaway ko sya dahil mafeeling sya. akala nya tayp ko sya pero hindi naman. bwahaah... pero nagkabati din kami dahil kelangan ko ng brusko at dekalidad na amigo para ipareha sa mga amiga kong malapit nang kalawangin. hehe.

so bakit naman ganyan ang spelling ng name mo, parang bisaya... katigas. sabi naman nya:

ganto kasi yan. si daddy ko ang pangalan nya - jose. si mama ko - maria. e kesa naman daw jesus ( hay frend buti nlang!) Jerum nlang daw - short for Jerusalem. hmmn, oo nga naman.

so that's all for now - work becomes a little more challenging starting mamaya kasi mapapalitan na ang hinahawakan kong geos. sana walang masyadong magiging issue.

bye for now - ciao amigo..

kapeng walang caffeine

kaninang mga bandang 10 nagising ako. unang tanong ko sa sarili ko, kakain ba o hindi na? pagkatapos nun nagaway na naman kami ng konsensya ko. sabi nya wag na daw ako umalis ng bahay. antayin ko nlang daw ulit tawagin ako ng antok. sabi ko naman kelangan ko na magpalit ng contacts kaya dapat pumunta ako ng cubao. at syempre kalimitang nangyayari nasusupalpal ang konsensya. tuloy ako sa cubao.

pasok ako sa ideal. maetching ung girlet na umentertain sa akin. halos sigawan ako sa pag-aakalang hindi ko naiintindihan ang tagalog nya. ang gusto nya tanggalin ang contacts at magpahinga ng 30 mins bago nya kunin ung grado ng mata ko. ang gusto ko itest nya na agad kasi hindi lang ako sure kung tama bang -3.5 at -3.25 ung grado ko. hindi daw. kelangang me manggaling sa machine. ok fine. bagong gising ako. kaya kong kumain ng matabang babaeng naninigaw. sige sabi ko mag-antay ng 30 mins.

naalala ko kulang nga pala ung dala kong pera. magwiwithdraw. babaita balik ako after 30 mins tawag ko sa girlet. k. lakad pakaliwa - squint - diretso kanan - squint... ang hirap pala ng buhay pag malabo ang paningin. sabi nga ni samjuan parang usok lang sa bagong saboy na nagbabagang uling. awa ng diyos nakabalik naman ako ng maayos and in less than 10 mins luminaw muli ang aking malabong mundo.

dumaan ako sa booksale at naghanap ng mga pwedeng pampaantok na libro. naku naman kung bakit lahat ng murang libro kung hindi naninilaw sa kalumaan e mga mystery at murder cases. aantukin ba naman ako pagkatapos ko basahin mga un? ni wala kahit isang naligaw na romance novel. ang nabili ko ung diaries of anne frank ( ok naninilaw ng konti) at how to sleep still at night (the hilarious side of parenting - ewan kung soon e gusto ko na ding maging parent, hehe). at isang back issue ng cosmo dahil sa caption na "things in your closet that make you look chunky". hmmn, baka maubos na laman ng closet ko pagkatapos.

kakatawa nga kasi pagbalik ko sa bahay akala ko naman sobrang artistahin ako at mag tetext message memory almost full ang inbox ko. oh em gee ni isang missed call o text ng smart man lang wala! hindi ko na inexpect na itetext ako ni carlo today kasi hinoldap sya ng prc earlier this week. anyhow bandang papapikit na ako tumayming naman syang nakitext sa kakosa nya at nangangamusta.

ganyan lumipas ang friday ko at ngayon inaantok na naman ako, salamat sa kapeng walang caffeine.

pests

i dunno why i stayed in that boarding house for so long - not very conducive to sleep and not very clean. imagine cockroaches just trailing along as if they have a right to the place. they're not even paying rent!

so anyways i had one thing that quizzed me. i drink tea that makes my bowels sooo loose so i kind of drink it after 2 days of not going to the loo. i was supposed to have it right now but when i took it out of my locker i saw that familiar opening only those pests can make. so i was supposed to fume mad but on second look, hey the paper inside was intact. it had me wishing for the first time that the pest ate every bit of the tea. hah, sweet revenge if it did. loose bowels? whoa, i just can't help but smile wickedly. bad thing those pests knew when to eat what.

anonymity

at first i thought i can use blogger to spill the darker inks of my mind and stay out of people's scrutiny by completely anonymizing my profile (if there's a word like that). but then for for aiming to please everybody i end up always on the look out for some indication. so why not be who i am and just never mind the rest? after all what i blog about is never another me i make up just to please anybody. for once i can stand up for the kind of person i am, flawed but nevertheless true to myself.

my life would suck without you

i wonder how things turn out fine even when i think i sucked big time. i and my bf had one of those many drink sessions (which does not make me a heavy drinker btw) and so tired as i was from the long travel the spirit took me soaring over my sanity. the next thing i knew was me laid down, all cleaned up, and with a grinding hypothalamus. carlo asked if i remember puking and naming him michael during my blankenness (that's how i funnily name the state) and i only look him stupidly in the eye as if he's talking in french. i can't remember any of those. but what stuck until now is him cleaning my mess up and him still brewing coffee to ease the headache.

it's not all about the coffee but the idea behind that hit me. for being at my worst i saw how he can still love me. he found me at my worst and he remained until i was able to turn the tide. he was all i never thought i deserve after a failed relationship stripped me of deserving a guy who can love me as i am. a failed relationship i thought i had my head ruling over while people all the while thought i fed my brains to the dogs.when we met i laid all the cards and asked outright if he can take them.

he walked out on me and that day became one of the darkest - as dark as when i was cut off from the family for thinking way below what they perceive my iq is. an hour later he came back and thus began a partnership that was founded in truth, sincerity, and acceptance. he got all the cards and the coffee reminded me that indeed he took it all - even the joker.

i never thought that falling in love can make me feel absolved of all the stupidity i've been doing.i have lost in love and sucked big time but i never lost hope that when i have righted all the wrongs that failed me, he'll come along and fill the hollows and complete me. carlo did all of that and i am more than thankful that hope made me see him as he walked past me during those blurry days.

my life would really have sucked had it not been because of him.