Health Scare

I am writing this at the waiting area of tWerribee Mercy Hospital. I will be undergoing an outpatient procedure that has made me thinking over the past few days of my wellbeing.

I turned 33 this year and have admittedly not lived a very healthy lifestyle after migrating here in Australia due to the increased propensity to consume along with the natural inclination to sweets, salty, and fatty food coupled with a YOLO attitude just because I haven't been feeling unwell as a consequence.

However, at the back of mind, I know it is just a matter of when will my body charge me for all the abuses. 

What has been going on in my mind is my reluctance to die just yet because of G. I have always acknowledged life as finite and I am not afraid to go, only that if I have the capability to prolong it by living a healthier lifestyle just so I can take care of her a little longer, wouldn't that be much better? 

It's just sad sometimes that we want to stretch our limits until we either wake up just in time or just wish we started a little sooner. 

How to Attend High School Reunions

May mga bagay sa buhay na ayaw na ayaw nating dinadaluhan.

Funerals.

Weddings.

Reunions.

Funerals because they are so damn lonely.
Weddings because we just don't like seeing other people feel happy.

Reunions because we don't want ghosts of the past come alive once again.

Of course we can never really evade these events, we just always make things up kapag malapit na. At pag wala na maidahilan, mapipilitan ka na lang pumunta. And then catch yourself talking to your self yet again: it didn't go so bad, eh?

Because out of the darkness of our hearts we still long to feel these familiar emotions - not of grief but of appreciation of our own meaning of death; not of jealousy but of hope for bliss; not of bad memories but of jumping back to that paused time when nothing else mattered but us living the time of our high school lives.

So tapos na ang intro. Magkukuwento na ako.

THE INVITE
Last week, out of the blue I received an invite to join the group chat planning our high school reunion party. I knew I will not be able to attend so I just threw in an "ituloy nyo yan maganda yan" very non-committal and not so enthused comment. Tapos hindi na ako nagparamdam sa group. Although, in our JoRhoCel group chat we talk about all these. We check on the comments once in a while and comment in our own group. It's just that I am 60% sure that it's not going to transpire so medyo biased.

TO GO OR NOT TO GO
A week to the event day, parang hindi na lang drawing. I can see members slowly declining and lost count of who would actually go. I and Cel then planned to go check them out on the day itself, maybe spend an hour, but NOT the whole day with them. We just thought that it will do no good to our aging memory to linger for long in the reminisce lane. May ayaw na ayaw kaming makita duon na kabatch pero dahil sa tingin namin e nagmature na kami at alam naming mas matutuwa kaming makita ang nakararami, we decided to do a cameo appearance.

SOUVENIR SHIRTS, ANYONE?
I have no qualms going with a t-shirt uniform and I must say that Rhin's initiative was way more than expected. She did a good job with the design and how easily she took orders and printed the shirts even without having first to get ahold of the funds na sa event na  mismo macocollect. But when I learned na puti ang kulay I didn't want to get one considering how sure I am that I will NOT use it again after. I just don't like whites in my wardrobe.

Souvenir shirts give a sense of belongingness to something you actually identify yourself with. I am a part of Batch 2003 but I just didn't feel like it for this particular reunion.

If for example it was used to set up funding for future endeavors, by all means, do so.

FINAL GUEST LISTS ARE NEVER FINAL
Yes, it never is. High school reunions, well, yung mga self-organized para may disclaimer, have no tolerance for rsvps. Even those who confirmed are never confirmed until they arrive in the venue. If you are the organizer and is really on top of it you'll play a big role in ensuring that that list is final so good luck. Pwede nga kahit hindi kabatch e. But always anticipate people joining kahit wala sa group chat and there's just no way of avoiding them if they happen to be there already. What you can do is make them buy their own food which you would not do because nakakahiya mabuti na lang at sobra sobra ang handa. Or not.

LOGISTICS AND FUNDING

Eto na. Saan ang venue. Depende yan sa kung sino ang mag-iisponsor, kung iiisponsor lahat, kung bring a plate to share, o contri ng kaperahan. Bago magdiscuss ng funding, madami ang sure na sasama pero pag nagkatokahan na medyo magbabago ang bilang. Dito maaasahan ang event organizer dati ng klase - yung palaging tigagawa ng lakad noon. It wouldn't change much, people's passion, so designating what people used to do would more likely rekindle past experiences. It doesn't need to be on a very grandiose location, I just think that putting in some effort into what to do on the event itself other than eating is one of the crucial factors of a reunion's success.

Kaya sa reunion namin, para hindi mapagkamalang gate crashers, nagdala si M ng Andok's.  Ang venue ay sa San Fernando in one of the beaches there and there were a lot of food at ang hindi mawawalang videoke at gin. Not that I encourage the later but for responsible people, it's not going to be a problem. Besides, we're not in high school anymore, we pretty much know how much damag alcohol does to our body.

BIG EVENT
So many are going to be very excited, with the group chat busy on updates kung nasaan na sila, ano ang hindi madadala, mga paki sa mga dadating pa, atbp.

There might be an air of awkwardness on the first hour, or even minutes after catching up which makes you realize what the hell of a gathering you put yourself into. Just make sure that you're putting in an effort to make any conversation linger, too because you know you went there to communicate. Don't tell me you can't think of any silly topic to supplement the dead air. After all you went there to see who you were when you were in high school and if you didn't like what you see, show to them how you have changed for the better.

Marami din ang mayayabang, mga hindi na nakaoutgrow sa levi's nilang pantalon at mamahaling nike dri-fit na damit kapag nagdedress down noon - pagtyagaan mo lang. Dapat sa age mo na ito tanggap mo na na hindi lahat ng tao pare-pareho.

Meron pa ding tahimik, pangiti-ngiti lang.

Yung dating kenkoy ng grupo malamang sa hindi sya pa din ang magdadala ng energy maliban na lang kung may pinagdadaanan sya sa buhay sa panahong nagrereunion kayo.

Marami ding mas naging maboka, mas interesting nang kausap kesa sa naaalala mo sa kanya dati. Meron ding hanggang ngayon wala pa ring kwentang kausap pero alam mong pag hindi sya sumama parang kulang ang attendance.

Madami ding makakarealize na andami nang nagbago sa yo hindi lang sa pananamit kundi pati na rin sa perspektibo mo sa buhay. So quits quits lang.

CLOSING CEREMONIES

Umalis na kami agad sa party after an hour kaya hindi ko alam kung paano nila niclose ito. Ako, sa tingin ko dalawa palagi ang pwedeng kalabasan, ang kagustuhang ulitin ang reunion dahil super nagenjoy o ang hindi na muna sa mahabang panahon dahil natraumatize. Yung huli, pwede kasing may mga old flames na kumbaga konting konting ningas na lang sa uling ang natira sa pagdaan ng panahon pero gawa ng reunion e nagflare up ulet. May mga tanga noon na pagkakita ulit sa mga pinagkatangahan e hindi na napigilan ang sariling magpakashunga ulit. Mga ganung eksena. Please lang maghunusdili ka kung ikaw ito. Gusto mong magpakatotoo sa pag-attend ng reunion pero wag na wag kang gagawa ng bagay na pagsisisihan mo habang buhay. Kasama na jan ng pagconfirm sa bansag sayo noong high school na - loko yang batang yan, hindi yan aasenso sa buhay.

POST EVENT REALIZATIONS
Akin lang naman to so maaaring hindi applicable sa iba. Narealize ko two-edged sword ang mga reunions. Yung pagkatapos mong malampasan yung mga payabangan at pabonggahan sa mga narating sa buhay, na incidentally e mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw mong dumalo in the first place, lalabas ang mga realizations na mapapangiti ka na lang at mapapatango kasi totoo.

Mabubust mo ang mga myths tungkol sayo na sa paglipas ng madaming taon e ngayon lang nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob itanong sayo ng mga kaklase mo.

Maitatama mo ang mga maling impression tungkol sayo na marahil baka naging isang dahilan din sa hindi pagdalo ng kaklase mong dati e nasungitan mo o feeling nya ansungit mo at ayaw ka nyang makita kaya hindi na lang sya dadalo.

Sa buhay puro lang kasi tayo nakatingin sa kung ano'ng kulang at hindi maganda at ayaw natin sa ibang tao. Baka nagkukulang din tayo sa paggamit ng perspektibo nila para iassess ang kung ano naman ang kulang at hindi maganda at ayaw nila sa atin.

Sa reunion na to isa ako sa mga kumbaga sa pila noong high school ay nasa unahan kaya ang hindi pagdalo ay mangangahulugang masyado na akong mahirap abutin at ang pagdalo ay magsisilbing tagapagpaalala ng mga nakaraang masaya at nangungurot sa puso. So, saan tayo?

High school reunions after 15 years are as meaningful to them if you go and as meaningful to you, if you go as well.

Kaya may mga nagkakatuluyan, may mga away na mabubuhay, may mga bagong pagkakaibigan, bagong koneksyon na mabubuo. At sana higit pa dito, may mga muling mangangarap at magsisikap ulit na makamit ito.

Lodi

For sure meron na kayong naexperience na magaan agad ang loob nyo sa isang tao kahit bago nyo pa lang sya nakilala. Yung swak agad kayo ng personality.

Sa kabilang banda, meron din naman yung hindi pa lang kayo naiintroduce sa isa't-isa ay ambigaaaat bigat na ng loob mo sa kanya e wala pa naman syang ginagawang masama sayo. Marami akong ganyan pero hindi yan ang topic ko ngayon. Makakadami tayo ng part para jan.

Eniwey, meron kaming bagong kawork at itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Lodi. Ako agad ang nakagaanan nya ng loob kasi ako lang naman ang cool sa team, hehe, at isip bata, bagay sa edad nyang 26. Sya ang pinakabata sa amin at marunong akong bumagay sa mga trip trip na ganyan at hindi naman mabigat ang dugo ko sa kanya. Kumbaga ok naman syang maging kaibigan sa work so go. Lalaki pala to so parang nakahanap sya ng abnormal na ate sa akin.

Young blood pati, kita mo talaga ang eagerness nyang magwork at bilib din ako sa nakikita kong honesty nya at bravery na din na magconfide sa akin sa mga napapansin nya sa paligid ligid. Kiber nya ba kung iiisqueal ko sya sa kinauukulan diba? Pero hindi naman ako ganung uri ng insekto so safe pa din sya. Parang nung mga ganong edad ko medyo alanganin akong magbigay ng kuru-kuro. Sabagay ibang bansa naman kasi kaya siguro mas open ang mga kabataan. Emeged para namang ang tanders tanders ko na magkwento.

Patol ako sa mga trip nya, mga fuck you fuck, mga shit na lagi nyang bukang bibig - ganun lang talaga sila parang comma at period lang ang paggamit. Sa isa sa mga lumang post ko nabanggit ko ang kultura sa peyups na normal lang din magmura so walang problema sa akin yun. Hindi ako naooffend. Hindi ko sinasabing maganda magmura lalo na kung mababasa ng mga taong hindi pa ganun kalawak ang pangunawa - regardless kung bata o matanda - so ang babala ay nasa sa inyo at bahala akong magpaliwanag sa anak ko.

At sa workplace makakarinig ka talaga kahit kagalang galang tignan na napapamura pero hindi naman talaga yung nagmumura? Ganern ang setting ng kwento natin.

Ang tipo nyang tao yung uri ng matalino na mahilig mambara. Siguro sa talento ko sa pagkilatis ng tao, hehe, alam ko na agad na ganun sya kaya binasag ko agad ang pambabara nya. Binara ko din sya. It was a signal for him that I understood him kaya simula noon, mga more than a month ago, naging katropapips ko na sya.

So araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos barahan lang kami, yung mga walang kwentang kwentuhan, pati nga kung san magtatago kung magkaroon ng zombie apocalypse napagplanuhan na din namin. 

Kanina, nagtanong sya kung ano daw ang masasabi ko sa plano nyang pag-uwi ng two days sa Indonesia para bisitahin ang girlfriend nyang magbibirthday at paggastos ng tumataginting na wantawsend AUD sa pamasahe.

Opkors napakawagas na NO ang sagot ko, I won't like it. Madami pa syang iniba sa mga variables. Teka wag mo isiping may asawa ka, isipin mo na girlfriend ka pa lang ng jowa mo, hindi ba yun romantic sa yo?

Syempre kelangan din natin iconsider ang stage ng relationship nila kasi sa lablayp naman namin ni c gumastos din naman sya ng limpak limpak na salapi chos para magkasama kami pero hindi sa ganung levels ng binabalak ni lodi na minsanan at sa tingin ko e hindi worth it. Pero sa akin lang naman yon.

Sa gitna ng pagpapaliwanag ko, natigilan ako. Teka sabi ko sa kanya. Bat ako nagpapaliwanag sayo? Gusto mo talagang pumunta no? I kinda want to sabi nya. Ayan na yung sinasabi ko, you were hoping i would push you to go. But i won't coz it's borderline stupid spending. At naalala ko yung nabasa ko dati na flipping coins are effective to make up your mind not when it lands on its head or tail but when it's in mid-air and you decide to go with your preconceived choice.

In his case I can see he knows how stupid it is and he recognizes how much happiness it could generate. Nasa pipti-pipti sya. So sabi ko sa kanya you know what to choose even before you asked me so go for it. As for me and because this is who i am, i don't like it.

Hindi ko na muna sya lelecturean ng mga chever chever ng mga magjowa para lang may maipagmalaki sa mga kakilala at sa social media kasi parang hindi naman sya ganun. Note to self, gawa din ako ng post about sa ganito.

I know how LDR works because we were like you before kako para may mapagdiskusyunan kami. Nagkainteres ang bruho at nagkasunod-sunod na ang tanong. Mahaba-haba pa ang byahe namin bago makarating sa Flinders at magkaharap kami sa tren so imaginin mo yung hot seat ni boy abunda ng slight.

Lodi: so how often do you see each other?

Mas Lodi: about once a month, over the weekend.

Lodi: that's not once a month, doofus (parang tanga to sa salita natin)

Mas Lodi: ok, twice a month nincampoop (shunga din ibig sabihin neto). We didn't have a proper valentine's date. There's once when we almost had it but while i am preparing he got recalled on duty so we weren't able to.

Lodi: We didn't have one as well. What does he do back home?

Mas Lodi: he was a policeman. And he had to leave his career when we decided to come here and i really admire that move because it shows how much he loves us. It was a career he loved, didn't pay much but he knew he's doing what's best for his family. That's why I'm giving him time to figure out what he wants to do here...

Lodi: (mukhang nagseseryoso na. Ginaganahan sa talkshow nya at napunta kami bigla sa buhay namin sa pinas)
Were you that rich in the Philippines before? Did your parents help you?

Mas Lodi: no we were not rich and no my parents did not help us. I don't have them anymore. Blah blah blah

Ganun tumakbo ang usapan namin na parang nakikita ko yung iniisip nya na nakasubtitle : akala ko easy go lucky ka lang teh iba din pala ang mga ganap mo sa buhay. Yung tipong lodi na nya ako, choz.

Lodi: So it's good to know that you all became successful, was it hard?

Mas Lodi: yeah, we slept on the streets.. And i was laughing.

Lodi: I'm not even gonna laugh.

For a while I saw some pity cross his face but then it was pity for the young me. It had been ages ago and what happened, whatever we went through, are just pieces from a big puzzle we are still solving. It's good to see that they have settled in the right place and that I can casually tell its story with a friend who could pick a lesson from it.

I know I earned his respect the moment we started thrashing each other but after that train ride it was a whole new level of respect he had for me and I am so fired up to take advantage of it for the rest of his working life.

This morning when we were about to enter the office,

Hey Lodi, open the door for me. And I stood there sa gitna kasi alam kong may mga nakasunod sa akin.

Fuck you he barked back and can't do anything anyways but to open the door for me.

😁

Oh my G Blogger has an App

I did try to google last year if Blogger has an app and there was none so imagine my happiness when I saw just now that there already is! So cheers to blogger, you just made the blogger me happy.

Riding my first Uber in Australia

I have been a fan of Uber way back in the Philippines and because I was left behind by my bus this morning, I had to take it despite the repulsive idea of paying $35 more than I should have if I went to the bus stop 1 minute earlier. Haha!

So, it was the same drill, hailing it via the Uber app, and 3 minutes later my ride arrives. The difference with Uber in the Philippines is I pay there in cash whereas here I had to register my debit card before hand to be able to book the ride. For the sake of making this post I went into the receipt details and learned that a booking fee of .55 is charged. Made me wonder how much is charged in the Philippines.

My driver was Md Abul B- - - -r and he was a good one. For the 10 minutes we spent driving to the city my first Uber ride was a memorable one. I just wanted to write it here because I felt good today - meeting him, and meeting Giles and Zoe - and having just a good time.

So he sort of guessed why I took the Uber saying "did you sleep it in?". Of course I did not, but I miscalculated the time so that's quite sleeping in the details. I shared to him how it was my first time riding Uber here in Australia and so we talked about us being migrants because he's from Bangladesh and he's been here for 16 years (which the accountant in me calculated that we're about the same age because he migrated here when he was 16) and I'm here for 2 months.

We talked about how I arrived here on a summer and him sharing his winter arrival and understanding when I said I have yet to experience a hard rain like how it goes in the Philippines because they used to have it in Bangladesh as well. According to him, it seldom happens in Melbourne. It was good hearing about how he shared feeling miserable having arrived on a winter when it's cold and windy and dark and being far away from his family because it is very relatable.

And how after all these years when I asked if he still goes home to Bangladesh he talked about how his family only did twice because it is expensive it could amount to around 10 grand a trip. He talked about when going on a holiday that the Melbourne expenses do not stop - rent, insurance, etc, - so they just invite Mom and Dad to come over because it is much cheaper. We had a good laugh when he said that their place is much cleaner when Mom is there. I added - yep, and the cooking! Not that I still have Mama Merced to invite over but yeah, moms are the best =)

It was just days after new year's eve and we talked about how the Melbourne fireworks was better than Sydney, and that he was working that night although he didn't feel working at night normally because there are more drunk and loud people during those times and it's not just his cup of tea. I learned that he works the 4:30am to 2:00pm shift which he prefers because there's a lot of daylight left from 2pm until the sun sets at 8-9pm so he can do whatever he likes.

Up to this part of the conversation which I am enjoying because I am talking with a local, I am noticing how good his accent actually is. Plus going into how he spends his day, his experiences, his thoughts is a joy ride in itself - it is a very good opportunity to learn about this city I am spending the rest of my life in. I can see that he is a good person even with the limited time we conversed.

Then he asked me how I am liking Melbourne so far and I shared how we also thought about going to Sydney when we were choosing which state to land. I am liking the life I have in Melbourne now although I still can't compare because I haven't been to any other state. I commented about how Sydney prices are around half the price in Melbourne and they say it is more calm here. Md Abul also shared his insights saying that Melbourne actually is a good city and he's finding it the best from almost all of the states he visited. He said that Melbourne is more tolerable of migrants and as you go up north where most original settlers are that honestly they are more resistant of migrants. He shared about his three classes - original settler, migrant, convict and that it is common knowledge to not like other classes as you have.

As to the comparison with Sydney we agreed that it is more busy and that it is ok to go visit there take a holiday but still live in Melbourne. We liked the word "chill" in association with Melbourne way of living and how people here just take each day in stride and in a que sera sera whatever will be will be way. He liked the fact that there are more concerts here, more sports to attend. He also shared how his house would have costed him 2 million had he bought it in Sydney so setting inflation, interest rate increases and the time when he actually bought his house aside, it's a good insight of how even in one country there's a lot of difference going on.

I guess it depends how people perceive the place they choose to settle in. We share the same sentiment  maybe because we are both familymen but I don't really mind if others want to settle anywhere else other than Melbourne. Some thrive in a busier environment so...

Then we talked about retirement, I'm not sure how the conversation got stirred to that topic but we talked about how going back "home" is an option when we reach our golden age. Not like go "home" go home but just spend some time overseas and come back to Australia again because it would start to not feel home overseas when you've spent so much time in Australia it becomes your "home" home. I understood this part of our topic specially when he shared that his older kins are doing the same - because we all have our built in homing device and sentiments ready to kick in. For how it goes, it works as we grow older and hear the North Star calling.

Then we arrived at 500 Collins Street and thus the end of my first Uber ride in Australia. I am writing it here to document how even the mundane things as taking an unexpected Uber ride could end up giving me a lot of thoughts to reflect on, how meeting a random driver could give me a lot of insights, how deciding to converse with him to while away the time could make me feel good because I could just have used my phone and shut up all throughout right?

So when the app asked me to rate him, I gave him 5 star.

My TwoScots Recruitment Experience

I just came from an interview with Giles and Zoe from TwoScots Recruitment and wanted to take the time and write about the whole experience.

Relocating to a whole new place, inching my way in to a very busy and competitive and a whole new job marketplace is a nerve wracking and most often daunting task. But once in a while the sun shines and makes the state of mind a little bit better.

Finding a job here in Australia is as competitive as anywhere else and having come from the Philippines where not much recruitment agencies play in the middle, actually meeting recruiters is as good an experience in itself.

I have been seeing TwoScots in Seek posting jobs for quite sometime now but yesterday was my first time calling the number listed in the ad and getting an interview schedule the day after.

Turned out that their slogan "Partner with us, we're a wee bit different", which I find very catchy, is true.

They're a wee bit different because from the time I announced my presence in the reception until the interview was over I felt very welcome in their office. The consultants I met knew their strings and there's that feeling of knowing I came to the right place. There's no assurance that a job is on its way because they just consult for their clients but putting faces to the job ads and validating how recruitment agencies do not totally ignore the rest of the second best pile and just meeting people to hear what you are capable of and acknowledging them is itself a good use of time.

I guess what I wanted to say is, there are times in our job hunting season when we feel a little better because we find something a wee bit different happening in it. Knowing that there's something happening, albeit not necessarily ending the season, makes us feeling inspired and focused and hoping.

Moving to Australia Checklist (Part I)

I bought my ticket to Melbourne two weeks before flying out. I was mentioning about the feeling to rush and I have always heeded these instincts and most often than not I get to tell my self, "you're right". So this is one of those instincts. I weighed and it weighed right. Still to this day I can't say it was the perfect timing but I have learned a lot and I can say it is right.

With barely two weeks left, I started organizing things. Big decisions like moving to an entirely different place and leaving everything behind needs a lot of organizing. Not just the things to bring, but most importantly constantly conditioning yourself. This is top of the list, non negotiable.

I had no trouble doing so because I have always been independent and mobile. It didn't matter where because, you know, it's not like I'm moving to the moon. I think that what makes it harder for others is the thought of leaving their comfort zone - people they know, things they can do and places they can go with eyes closed. 

How about knowing that there's always a plane you can hop on to regardless of when your budget allows you? How about knowing that loved ones will still be there regardless of whether they have changed their mind towards you or maybe not at all? How about doing it for yourself because you know that life is finite and will pass you by regardless of when and where you finally decide to make use of it?

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Now that we're on to the right mindset, let me walk you through my checklist:

• start talking in English
• research bank's foreign exchange policy
• start reading Pinoyau.info
• finish scrapbook
• do something memorable to an organization you love
• make up with friends/acquaintances I had misunderstandings with
• relive every memory as a child and tick those already achieved

 (If you are looking for the what-to-buy-and-bring checklist jump to Part II but I think you understand why I started with these so read along =)

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Start talking in English. I understand how hard it is to try talking in English in an Ilokano environment. There's always that reservation of not wanting to look trying hard or wanting to go out of our league. But, I did not put it on top without reason. I am really convinced that how fast one can integrate to another culture is by speaking and understanding how it communicates - vocabulary, accent, slang, pronunciation, figures of speech - everything. Remember, conditioning. 

I was good at imposing rules at home so I started our 7pm English time. This is for Gabby to learn how to express herself in simple English but implicitly so I can condition myself that there is an urgent need to communicate in English. Because G has been a voracious reader she got hooked to the English time quite easily. Later on she will be declaring that it's 7pm so nobody talks but in English. 

I tell you, oftentimes we underestimate how kids are as smart as us. G started improving her vocabulary by reading, widened it by asking what she did not understand, learned by herself by inference and context clues based on words she understood in the phrase or sentence. It didn't matter if she didn't get the grammar right because I understood what she wanted to say. I try to teach her basic rules like singular, plural, pronouns, or I teach her how to correctly say her phrases and in doing so I'm also learning because I get to review my concepts. In my opinion, I believe that what makes some afraid to start talking in English is because they are afraid to commit grammar mistakes. I can't think of anything else as lame as not knowing a lot of English words because my 5-year old daughter, who's just starting to build her vocabulary can express herself! It's just a matter of wanting to learn it. Remember, conditioning.

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Research bank's foreign exchange policy. So what will come with migration is spending (then eventually earning) Australian dollar. Anticipate how much you will be spending as you start looking for job, pay rent, buy food, use public transport etc. Then grow Philippine peso in trees so you can exchange 'em to AUD.

What I did was first research and found this link useful:

http://pinoyau.info/discussion/758/aud-where-can-i-buy-in-manila

I learned that there are two ways to buy - one through banks and through the black market. I bought mine through BDO-ABS-CBN branch because that's where I opened my savings account. You can't buy AUD in any branch, it should be the branch where you opened it and not until you have notified them you intend to buy two weeks prior. I was told that first currencies like USD can have a faster notice period because branches have them but if buying AUD for example and in large amounts, give the bank enough time to grow them in trees also.

The day I went to pickup the currencies (which is two days before my flight. Imagine if something went wrong so you might want to do it a little earlier) I was expecting to spend a little less than 30 minutes thinking that is enough time for them to photocopy my passport and process the foreign exhange. Boy did it take me longer because they had to photocopy the notes' serial numbers - all 100 pieces of them. I did sulk but I knew better that these are measures they needed to take. I was even thankful that they gave me lots of 20AUD rather than in hundreds when I got here in Australia. As much as possible get the 20 dollar bills.

I also wanted to clarify that yes you can bring more than 10,000 AUD, you just needed to declare it as you fill out the immigration card.

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Start reading Pinoyau.info. This website is a goldmine for those who have plans to migrate. I discovered it after I engaged with Respall but learned so much about documents processing, PTEA, EOI, ITA, trends regarding visa application, Medicals, clearances, COE. I talked to a lot of people who are as supportive and helpful - people who had a lot to share. Experiences, reviewers, tips, insights. 

There are topics regarding job seeking, where to rent houses, where to land initially - remember that these are real people's experiences and you read them to help decide for yourself. You can gauge from what they've gone through, your circumstances and capacity what good options to take. Read on mistakes you can decide not to commit.

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Finish scrapbook. Take this figuratively if you are not into making scrapbooks, but I am. Of course I will let you know why I do such and maybe you would try it, too. I swear it's fun and kind of self reflective.

I am racing with time here because I needed to organize Gabby's scrapbook and mine and also do other stuff in between. Remember that I sent Gabby to my hometown after she finished school and after I rendered my last day at work I also went home to Bagulin to wait for my flight.

I once had a scrapbook back in college where I put stuff which I think would matter to me 10 years after that I thought were destroyed. Then I found it in Uncle R's house carefully stacked in between books they were able to salvage from our then dilapidated house. I had a good time leafing through its pages because the memories - those candy packs, movie tickets, tissues from restaurants where Carlo and I first dated in 2007, the dried rose I received for valentines, Hannah's letter to me when she was 6yo - were so vivid it seemed just like yesterday. I was able to read dad's letter to mama back in 1978 and mom's response because I remember picking the sheets from fire and slapping them in the scrapbook. 

So I have collected a lot of stuff as well from when I started working until recently but never had the chance to put them in a scrapbook. So I bought materials and went to work straight away. At first you would want it to look very organized and pretty but as you go along I want you to realize that it's the memories that will matter after 10 years not the trimmings that could possibly fade. 

Try to photocopy receipts because inks in thermal papers vanish through time, cover them in wide scotch tapes to make it more sturdy. Put into mind that you may not be able to see this scrapbook for a while because you will be leaving so write the things you feel like writing at the moment, preserve your thoughts and dreams in it. It's in this way that you will be able to tell your story to your older self, your kids, people you care about. It's like making one is trying to tie up the memories and directing your present to make more memories that your older self will be very proud to reminisce. It's like going to the future to recall exactly what your present should be like.

When I was reading my old scrapbook it felt like my younger self was looking at me and nodding. 

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Do something memorable to an organization you love.

A month before my last day at work, we heard mass at Saint Joseph Parish Church. I was a parish youth member and leader when I was in high school until college I think and I played the piano since grade five. When I started working I lost contact with the PYO and didn't go to church very often. That day, Carlo declared that we go to church. I was to find an excuse but I said, why not. I guess it's fine going there, see old faces, face my own ghosts or whatever. It's not like I'm a reclusive person but I never really wanted going out when I am in Bagulin. 

So I saw the familiar faces, the warm hellos and I realized that yeah, sometimes we make our own fences because it feels good to ward off attachment. But it feels good to tear it down because these are people I felt good with before. The hugs from the old, the smile - their recognition of my old self trying to get to reestablish relationship - so I went inside the church and saw the younger me again, smiling and nodding.

I had goosebumps while praying, I knew God knew I'm back and he touched me real hard. At the second collection aimed to raise funds for church improvements, I felt the need to do something. I don't have a lot of money to donate but I have management skills and I can organize people who have money to send over right? So I made a group in Facebook and invited all those who I knew were affiliated with SJPYO through the years. The response was awesome, in a month we prepared our Ga-youth Choir Sponsorship where we targeted to offer 10,000 pesos. It was fun because now we are all professionals and have trodden different paths but in one single call I made them they all responded to pool their talents and resources. It was also nice playing the piano again after 10 years.

I asked God to make me His instrument and I knew that I have made use of my talent to give back to that one organization that helped shape my values growing up. It felt good and I felt redeemed.

Here's the closing message I sent to the group after our service (if you could understand Ilokano that is):

Happy Sunday kakabsats nga kaururats!!! It’s been a week since our happy gathering of praises and closing initiatives are due. Let’s do this by the highlights para sa mga hindi nakaattend but were very supportive all throughout.

Maysa nga tambor para kadagijay immay nagpraktis ng Sabado. No han nga agbalin ti -1 nga transpose, edi gawing -3! Pero maysa napansin ko, habang gumaygayot the better our voices have become. Gemays! Nagpintas payen ti gamgamit-new instruments, projector hindi na manila paper hehe. Jay la songbook en ti agkabbibaw. It’s the same from 10 years ago. Adda pay import nga tagaBacnotan ken Taga-Bauang.

Came Sunday, nagsasapa ang mga kuning. Napaadu ni Ate Anarie jy pang-offer nga sabong ta napan nagala bulbulong ijay ig-igid kumbento. Natawid na ajay ken Inang Vicky kanino pa! Haha. Nagbasa ni Mayora ken ni Kipot nga impraktisan na before the mass.

Offertory inkamakam dagijay gag-gayouth nga nakagray. Nakaurnong tayo ti Php 11,000 sa ating virtual pledge envelope that we specifically dedicated for roofing improvements. We have the names inside pero at this point the anonymity highlights the generosity that you all extended. We are seeing another Php2,000 from the TShirt proceeds. Tamburan tayo ni Macel nga nangpauna para jay deposit. Let’s not make it difficult to finish collection then – tingnga ken abagatan peeps for unclaimed at saka for payment kay Ly-ann, all other peeps kay Macel. Let’s close this by Sunday. Okies?

Yung remaining units na naiwan sa simbahan kung may mga interested please point them to Manang Anarie. Let’s all wear it as symbol of our faith and communion – uray agiinnaddayo tayo.

I cannot speak for the joy it brought the community uray idi agjoke ni Apo Padi nga “Ti sponsor tayo tatta ket dagiti – kasano nga ibaga – anya meaning na jay GA, basta dagijay youth idi” – maamak sa nga mangibaga nga Ga-youth ta kakadwa tayo nga sponsor that day was the PPC baka isuda masaktan, hahahha! but I think we came and found home.

Tamburan tayo ti initiative da KiDongYan LabTeam para ti mineryenda tayo nga pansit ken juice. Uray awan plato nagkikinnammet and by the time plates came ken panagiinnaw nagwar ti teamwork tayo. Hihi! Kasjay idi, hanggang tatta. Nagmayat.

Adda dagijay efforts nga han ko nabanggit pakiisturya met mga bes, adda dagijay han nga nasurot nga planplano pero naiintindihan natin yun. Ang mahalaga ay naibalik natin kay Papa God ang pasasalamat that is due Him.

Hanggang sa muli mga ka-GaYouth! Thank you!

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Make up with friends/acquaintances I had misunderstandings with. This is more like trying to reconnect with friends I lost contact with. Not like I needed to make up with friends I had misunderstandings with because I can just lose that friend if he/she never wanted to fix the misunderstanding, yeah? 

I am not that kind of person who keep track of friends I don't normally deal with regularly. I don't randomly message my friends in Facebook in my spare time to ask them how they are. But I know they are my friends, just that if I don't see them, I don't make a move to get in touch with them. It's just me, it's really not being a snob. So before you move, try to be a little less forgiving of yourself and realize that this is the time of your life when you need to walk the extra mile to reconnect. It's not required but when I did I kind of felt better so you might as well try.

I decided to join our high school reunion so together with M we did a cameo appearance to where the batch decided to hold it. They did not know we were going, and we did not want to tell them we're going because there's this batchmate we didn't really like to see. But if we really wanted to go, we will be seeing him. It was good speaking to them, patching things up, erasing wrong impressions, showing them how I did not change much from the Rhoda they used to know in high school. 

It's good. Like filling the voids will actually make you feel ready to start another chapter elsewhere.

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Relive every memory as a child and tick those dreams already achieved. I'm not really sure what to say about this because there are lots specially when you go back and stay at the house you spent your growing years. There's familiarity to everything but it's kind of you in the outside just looking in. 

I guess what I wanted to say is be in terms with your past, know what you have achieved, make peace with it, and then go.

Our Long Journey to Skilled Independent Visa Application to Australia (Part IV)

So I guess this is the last part. I'm not sure what to tie up here, maybe finish it off with what I've learned going through the process. Of course there will be a lot more that I would be mentioning in bits in my future posts but I think all the parts I have blabbed about up to this point covered most of my thoughts.

Once when I was very young, so much focused to the promising career I have in front of me, so in love with the idea of success and so into planning every aspect of it, I go to sleep and dream of beautiful things. Then I grew older and exhausted and slept and lost fate on those dreams. Luckily I did not lose my self, its dreams when it was way younger and much more fearless.

So I rose to a better version of me, shedding that skin of fear of the unknown, now understanding death as encompassing acceptance of what is doomed. I refuse to die, even when all odds go against me, not without fighting and fighting really well.

If you have read up to this point let me turn on you and get to your head:

•  that you know what you want to do but still mustering the courage to do so. Try to think 5 years from now, when you are wiser, and hear your older self saying - if only I did this, if only I started right away, I wouldn't have wasted so much time, I would have made things a lot better. Just do it. Don't chicken out. You'll soon die. And the worst way out is not doing anything you can be proud of in your deathbed.
• that making a decision,even how complex ,is always choosing what is right or what you can learn from. Don't be afraid to make one, it's not about failing that you're afraid of, it's the uncertainty of doing so that makes you chicken out. Use your brain, exhaust all your means and decide. It won't matter in the end if you made the right decision or sucked, what mattered is you went farther and learned. Just do it.
• that looking up for help never goes out of style. I have been in and out of my faith but for the times I come back I am never failed. Don't doubt the force that lets you see light out of the darkness, don't think you can do it alone because you know when going against the tide, you might want to hang on to something rather than your ears.

I guess I am ready to stop here.

Our Long Journey to Skilled Independent Visa Application to Australia (Part III)

Because I have already resigned prior to our visa being approved, that is now another box ticked in the to-do list. I can just look back at it now and label it as timing difference, and another shot at being lucky because we eventually got approved. Imagine how it would have turned out disastrous if the odds weren't in our favor.

Anyways, so a lot of other things had to be taken into consideration:

• when to fly to Australia
• where the hell in Australia
• how healthy our finances are to support moving to Australia
• if Gabby will still enroll in school
• how to deal with Carlo's situation at work

Just to set the time, imagine that I am writing this right after we got the visa.

When to fly to AU. I knew I just needed to finish my work on the 29th and can go right away. It was the time of year when job search tends to slow down but something inside me is urging to go and just go. I know one out of many will favor me and that alone is making me itch to book a flight right away. So I decided to book it on October 21st, giving me barely two months before job search slows down for the holidays. It was not like I intended to waste money knowing there is not much happening that time of the year but I have always known myself and if there's restlessness I just needed to go with it. Most of the time I get something out of it and I know I will.

Where the hell in AU. Back in 2013 out of nowhere and because that's the only place in Australia that sounds familiar to me owing to Carlo's uncle living there, I am always telling them that we'll go to Victoria. I haven't done my research as to the viability in living there, the kind of work we'll do, how life will turn out for us but I said we'll go to Victoria.

Then I started to get in touch with Maymay, one of my workmates in IBM. She is in Sydney and so I started considering Sydney as our destination. We are flexible to this point because I haven't assessed the gravity of starting life anew in a place where we don't know the laws, how fast money can fly and all that. By then it was only Melbourne or Sydney. What I know at this point is life in Melbourne is halfway cheaper than it is in Sydney. Maybe not totally true but we can play it that way so it is easier to choose.

Around two weeks before booking my ticket, because we decided that I go first, we got in contact with Tito H and he played a vital part in our choosing which state to land initially. Today i would look back and stand by what I said in my last post about having our fate preplanned. I will explain later when I get to that point if I won't forget.

On to the next.

How healthy our finances are to support moving to Australia. We've bled out because of the application and won't really take long before we reach rock bottom. Some assets are not so liquid and out of consideration at the moment. By research we found out that we need to allot around 10,000 AUD for our entry until we can find a job. So when we decided that I needed to go first, we were calculating around 2,500 pocket money. That's when Tito H offered so graciously his home and we knew this is God working his way understanding our plight. So I went here in Melbourne not having to worry about board and lodging just yet albeit aware that I will be Tito H's burden for quite sometime.

It helps to realize that we all need help sometimes. It helps to appreciate everything God sends on your way, becoming aware of the small and big things that make your heart heavy of gratitude. It is humbling because you see the events unfold, even those you haven't planned for and fit to places you dreamed of them going.

If Gabby will still enroll in school. If you are single, these are things you don't have to worry about. But if you have a child, these are one of the bigger things that you need to consider. Gabby finished her Junior Nursery in April at UP-PAUW and so I sent her home to Bagulin and asked Uncle R to take care of her. We still continued to get Ate Sha's services knowing that Uncle will not be able to take care of her full time. We were then uncertain if we wanted her to continue her Senior Nursery in UP, my point being she is learning so much and that we still have no assurance that our application will be successful. It was also hard for me uprooting her in Krus na Ligas and her school where she's built her first network but as summer vacation finished, it became evident that choosing to let her join Bagulin Central School's kindergarten class as a temporary student is the most viable option. 

Good thing that Auntie H is a teacher in BCS and that I personally know the principal too, her being my adviser back in Grade 5. It was easy pushing her in, to the opposition of some people who thought I've lost my mind bringing her to Bagulin rather than let her continue in UP. Of course that is 30k cheaper and easier to pull her out just in case we get approved but those are considerations I normally don't share to random people (just that now I am sharing it because I have my own motivation and out of my own volition haha!)

Looking back, this is yet again another well thought of decision, with God's good guidance again because G kind of learned how it was to live in Mommy's place, learned how to speak Ilokano, and learned to become independent never really needing Mommy (and not too much relying on Tita). It's not like being away from us is always a good thing but with the way things are going, we will be making up for that time when she is in Bagulin, I am in Quezon City, and her Dad in San Fernando. It is unhealthy for a kid to grow without her parents and that is what we will be able to justify in all our decisions post migration.

Also, with her Teacher Marissa being aware of Gabby's special case, she was very accommodating and even taught her lots of English words. Gabby has always been a good reader, knowing how to read vacuum cleaner and system by herself at four years old, but getting someone to guide her is another. At the span of five months she memorized all the names of her 19 classmates, became friends with them, and learned how to converse with them in her limited Ilocano vocabulary.

It's always good to see that G will most likely follow my footsteps in seeing the importance of learning wherever life will lead her.

How to deal with Carlo's situation at work. This is a pivotal moment for me, being a stubborn and self centered brat all my life. I have always been independent and  marriage is not always a guarantee that you become selfless. It doesn't happen overnight. But eventually you will.

So by profession I am an accountant and as things went I was assessed as able to apply the same in Australian workplace. No biggie about that. Just look at the right place and I can land the same job. C, on the other hand has a lot to consider. At first I was not really emphatizing, saying, what's so hard in resigning, I never even had to doubt but twice before I handed mine right? So he felt sooooo misunderstood, which I would later realize how misunderstanding I was of his plight and it led us to a lot of misunderstanding as well. One thing I can rave about him is his being so gentleman even when I cross the line. And boy he must be very patient to wait for me see how far I went in crossing it.

And then it hit me. Of course it must be very hard for him. He's always told me that that job was the only job he was good at. And we've always known that there are different kinds of personality and his was a slowly-but-surely kind. I have always thanked God for giving him to me because he is my neutralizer. I have always thrived in uncertainty and he tempers that risk taker in me. This time, it's his job he needed to risk. It's my time to pull him up so we can keep moving forward. I only needed to understand where he is coming from. And I did. And I learned a lot about him, much as I learned a lot about me. 

I learned that it was ok for him to feel unsure because this is a big move for all of us. I learned that it will take him time to process such a big decision professionally - impacting his way of life, his future, his being the head of the family. I learned that I just needed to let him be, and trust that he'll be able to cope with it. And he did.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

Our Long Journey to Skilled Independent Visa Application to Australia (Part II)

I forgot to include in the list my IELTS/PTEA journey. Ok, because this is where a lot of who I talked to chicken out, I guess I can get too detailed just so I can ease someone else's nerves.

Let me start in the context that English is not our mother tongue and we should not worry too much about it at this stage. NOT!!! If you really want to migrate so much, there's no holding you back. Even yourself. I think the worst thing you can ever tell yourself is "hindi kasi ako magaling mag-English!". Because if you ever said that to yourself even if you don't know it you're losing half of the battle real fast. It's not like you should forget Tagalog altogether, it's just that you have made a conscious decision to tell to the world that yes I want to go to a place where everybody talks and understands English. And by every body I meant including you.

So.

I have always liked English, in fact I think I'm pretty good at it. Not about the grammar but I can express myself with it. I like writing in English, not too grammatically correct, but I can. I have a wide range of vocabulary or understand some words I read the first time through context and the like. I can pronounce and stress words correctly.

And I read a lot of reviews with IELTS. Them getting 7 in 3 areas but failing in the fourth. Reading, writing, listening, and speaking. And then I chicken out. It's not like I can fail and take it again, it's the money that I'll lose that's making me chicken out. Failing is not an option because it's burning 10,000 pesos in a what-i-think-is-a-money-making test. It is very subjective because you face a person who's going to rate you speak. There are a lot of variables that could make you lose it quickly - what if the person just doesn't get your point, what if the person is having a bad day, what if the person just effin not like how you look and it could influence his perception of your opinion. I know this is very judgemental but these are my opinion.

So I still enrolled with IELTS crash course in Meriton One along Quezon Avenue, attended the orientation, and that's it. Bye 3,500. If I would have gotten the unlimited review, the orientation I attended would have costed me 6,000.

By this time I have Respall giving me valuable information one of which is mentioning PTEA as an alternative to IELTS. This is pretty new compared to IELTS but what mattered to me was when Mel said that this is acceptable in Australia and is done with a computer and that results are given after 24 hours. IELTS results take about a week I believe.

So 9,000 pesos and a week later, I scheduled to take my PTEA test in Makati. From the tips I got from pinoyau.info, I also was able to give my advise for getting 9 in all areas 24 hours later.

Here's the link if you want to read about it: http://pinoyau.info/discussion/comment/208455/#Comment_208455

I really wasn't expecting it because prior to taking the exam, the PTEA package came along with a mock exam where I got 65. I wasn't really aiming to claim 20 pts, I would've been happy with the minimum 10 points.

And so in retrospect I realize that my fate must have been written when I asked God to guide me and bring me to Australia. Back in 2013 when we first went to Respall for an information session, we initially calculated my points, as the principal sponsor and totaled 60, the minimum to get invited to apply for the visa. Work experience, educational background, IELTS score, age, all played a role. We assumed the minimum in the IELTS score back then.

However, we decided to postpone our application because I qualified for the UP MBA program. After I graduated in 2016 that's when we actively started our application. Note that three years has passed and my work experience has gone up a level in the scoring and added 5 points. My age got to the 28-32 range where they scored the highest - another 5 points, and with me getting all 9 in PTEA adding yet another 10 points which got me to 80 points. This is very important because the number of accountants applying for the Skilled Migration program has ballooned and competition went to who lodged first and who got the highest points. By the time we lodged, 60 pointers had no chance in getting invited because there are a lot of 70 pointers. I am in the next top slot together with a few, with a fewer 85-90 pointers in the frontline.

It appears that all our decisions, even the small ones, and the outcomes, even those we think were by chance are but small pieces that make up a predrawn fate that a mightier being decided for us. We think we make our choices, yes we do, but not without guidance.

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Now let's jump to the time when we have lodged the visa and are waiting for the results. Because it coincided with the time when Malcolm Turnbull, AU's Prime Minister, announced some important changes in their migration policy and the end of fiscal year looming around the corner, our visa approval or denial, is taking too much time in process. Lodged on April 12 with the announcement done on April 19th, we were luckily included in the last batch that are considered using the old act. Nonetheless, we joined the line in waiting because it's that time of year, May to June, where they review backlogs and exhaust the remaining visas for the year granting them. So we waited until the program's slots refreshed in the new fiscal year and took a lot more patience until finally we received it in September 8.

The whole of August was a roller coaster for me. Have you ever had that time in your life when you picture a lot in your head, know you can do all of em, but can't do anything about it because you're not allowed yet? Perhaps you'll read/you have read my previous entry about waiting time and it's this time that I was referring to.

I have always loved my job because of the people around me who have become my family but I just woke up one day not really feeling so motivated in performing it. It's like all my energy was put off by having to wait for the visa too long and not getting a lot of news about it. I know my job so well and at the back of my mind I am not as motivated to do good because, well, I will be leaving soon. Or not, if ever our visa got denied. Or I should still leave and just find another company or if lucky ask my manager to transfer me someplace else. I just didn't want to perform the same role where I got to build my dreams on and if worse comes where I got it killed.

I wanted to tell you this because it's in waiting, and not making any harsh decisions, where you will know more about yourself and how hard and how long you could hold on to your dreams. Weigh it a hundred times, consult it with your loved ones, review its effects on your finances, never decide by emotions.

I was ready to resign after we get our visa approved but because of my state of mind, I sent out my resignation letter the day my partner-in-crime, Nad's replacement reported for work. I just felt ready, even with all the uncertainty, knowing that C supports this decision, knowing that C will take care of my needs, knowing that there are more financial and non-financial advantage in our Pros-Cons list. These are the times when your partner's/loved ones' support will matter the most. And of course be also sensitive of how they are managing theirs and offer your support, too because you're all in it together.

It was August 22, days before we received our visa. I was not certain of the fate we will be getting from our visa application and I have no clue what to do next - should I apply to another company, should I wait - what is certain is that I will not be having any job come September 29. So I updated my Jobstreet profile, applied to companies that has Australian background because at the back of my mind I still believe that we are going to Australia. I know we will. It's just a matter of tempering it because it can not happen.

That fateful day, when the good news came is going to be one of those days of validation. I still can remember inferring from the VisaTracker site that it is most likely September that April applicants will get the approval. It has started to rain grants at the onset of September with March batch going in. I knew it was coming but still I got surprised when Mel Skyped me about it. It was a lazy 2 oclock pm in the office, with me chilling in my office chair, browsing in the internet, joking around with the guys, you know what LAZY means in the office doing anything but work, and then I felt the urge to shout and laugh and cry. But I did not. I just felt sooooo happy I sat there, reading it all over again. Yeah I did shout in Skype flooding Mel with all those happy emoji's and telling her thank you and everything. Then I told C about it, I think I called him and so he was also very happy. And then told my bros about it.

At that point in time I was happy because we can start another chapter, we can now dream dreams, and knowing that the outlay was not wasted.

Then, real decision making began. Planning was different pre-visa approval because it was full of IF scenarios. Now it dawned on us that we will really be uprooting and jump to the ocean. Come to think of it, I never really thought hard regarding the relocation because what IF we don't get approved.


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TO BE CONTINUED...

Our Long Journey to Skilled Independent Visa Application to Australia (Part I)

I will just fire away with what I can recall because if I become too concerned with my form I will never finish it.

So after July last year when we started contracting with Respall, I got buried into paperwork. Lots of documents I needed to produce because I don't have them: English as Medium of Instruction, PICPA certificate, COE, Course Syllabus and a looot more.

English as Medium of Instruction: It's a good thing that I have my cousin Jericho studying in SLU so all I needed to do was send over an authorization letter for him to act on my behalf. He took charge and I received it through LBC once he claimed the documents.

So I thought, one down.

Never realizing the worse is coming.

PICPA certificate. I took an afternoon off so I can go to the PICPA office in Mandaluyong that day. I went to ABS-CBN in the morning and will go straight to PICPA after lunch. It was raining hard that day and while riding the jeepney, calmly browsing in my mobile, a bus overtook our jeepney splashing sooo much water inside. Yes, I got soaked, to my panties for Christ's sake, literally took a bath in flood water. So I proceeded to work and requested Cye to bring me in some extra clothes to change to.

Then I went to PICPA with Cye's pajama/maternity leggings because she is 2 sizes smaller. I found out that I needed to pay 4600 pesos as penalty and another 1500 for my annual membership fee. Let me explain. I passed the board in 2008 - the only time I ever paid my dues. It accrued until 2016 and yes I was even given a 50% waiver of fees so I should be thankful. NOT! But whatever, I need that piece of paper for my visa application so with a heavy heart I said bye bye to the money.

Who would ever think right? That being a member of a body that I never really felt good being a member at would be a vital part of my application? In retrospect, and being aware of how they are dealing with other countries to make our profession at par with their degree, I can't help but be thankful there's that kind of body that I became a member of.

Anyways. Another tick in my checklist.

COE. Now I understand how this step frustrates applicants specially those who've had a loooot of companies they worked in. I only had two and it took me around 3 months to get it right. There are a lot of considerations in obtaining one because you need to consider:

• the requirements of the assessing body. They need really detailed job responsibilities so they can assess if you really performed the tasks that are similar to their definition of an accountant for example. And boy do companies sometimes have this standard COE template that will take a lot of exchanges before they agree to use the format and words you provide because that is the requirement.
• the normal turnaround time of a COE request. Mine was a little complicated and had to go through a process each time I wanted the COE revised. 

I can say that in this part, Respall helped a lot in making my COE right. I appreciate that they are screening it out before we submit an expression of interest because these documents can make or break the application.

Then we were ready to submit to CA ANZ my documents for assessment.

This was on 17 October 2016 and some 60,000 pesos later.

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On November 2 we received a request for additional documents, even trivial things as logo of the company needs to be in color, or that there needed to be an annual salary included in the COE can cause your documents to come back. Of course you see the days wasted because once you submit it again, another waiting game ensues.

December 15, they still needed to see some more documents and I think I did not bother too much because it's that time of the year. I took my time also. haha!

January 11 we submitted updated COEs from both of my companies, this is the third time they sent back the COE, sent back again on February 8 asking for yet another statutory declaration of my job description. I tell you I am getting soooooo pissed this time but what can I do? I guess some things you really need to work hard for so you can appreciate it all the more.

Finally, on March 7th, I received the favorable skills assessment from CAANZ. So I was wrong, it took me 5 months, some laziness, cash short, and a Christmas break to get assessed. Gone too was another 40,000. Immediately after, Respall submitted our Expression of Interest and received the Invitation to Apply on March 15th. 

It took us until April 12th to grow money on trees, 250,000 of them before we can lodge the visa application.

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Once lodged, we were given a HAP ID that is required to get our medical examination. I chose Saint Lukes because that is where most in PinoyAU.info forum go and because I haven't been there, and because this is going to be a nice experience for us three.

So you have to go through Saint Luke's online scheduling system, fill out some stuff and pay via Security Bank 16,000 pesos because I pay 8k as principal and 4k each for C and G. Which later I found redundant because they still needed us to fill out a manual form in the clinic and them issuing us yet another receipt, for which I queued for in their cashier's. I understand that they needed to have a copy for BIR filing but why go through the process of paying in Security Bank when I can just pop my bills in when we were in Saint Luke's right? Could have saved me the time browsing for the nearest Security Bank in the area. I guess that's an area they need a look into. 

We took Uber, quickly becoming my favorite at that time and G is enjoying it - having to look for the plate number as it arrives, trying to guess what color the car is and anticipating if the driver would be grumpy or friendly.

Then we reached Saint Luke's, did our thing - peed, drew blood etc - but had to wait after lunch for the physical checkup. I went with Gabby. Carlo, who was a little apprehensive because of his many what if's went to his doctor and came out very worried because he told the doctor he has ear piercings. I calmed him saying it was fine. 

We went for lunch and boy rice in BGC is veeeery expensive. One cup is worth 25 pesos. Well, charge to experience. Maybe that paid for us stepping into the pristine lobby of the hotel este hospital.

So they said you really needed to take a day off to do your medical and it's true. You can go there queue as early as 7am but it took us until three pm to finish. We got negative results with HIV testing but had to wait until Monday for the blood tests and needed to consult a pediatric cardiologist to get expert opinion for G's heart murmur that the doctor detected.

So that would have costed us another 7k to undergo the 2D Echo that the pediatric cardiologist ordered so she can read G's heart condition but luckily it was covered by my healthcard, Medicard, and also very luckily that the heart murmur was not to worry about. It was later explained to us that only 30% of kids who had heart murmur turned up problematic and that heart murmur per se is but an indication that something may or may not be wrong with them.

I was detected with a 10 degree spine curvature to the right but was cleared and only recommended to see a therapist. In my APE with IBM eons ago they detected the same but I shrugged it off because the next year it was not detected. Then in 2014 it was again detected in ABS-CBN with me quickly shrugging it off again. I really must have had one. Remind me to have it checked up again here in AU.

With all our medicals done, the only thing lacking is our NBI clearance.

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I didn't have trouble obtaining mine because ABS-CBN has an annual mobile Kapamilya services where NBI, NSO, PAG-IBIG, DFA and others come to the office and we can just get what we needed there. So I paid 140 pesos to get the green NBI and sent it to Mel.

Carlo, on the other hand, had a different story because he's getting his NBI in the province. He needed to go online to schedule his appointment, went to their office and his name got hit. Apparently, if you got a recent NBI and is still active in the system, you will automatically get hit. He was told he needed to come back  in 2-3 weeks so they can verify. Good thing he went through the same on his last clearance and he told the NBI guy about it. They told him to wait and then he got his clearance the same day.

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to be continued....

Preface

Apparently, I set up another blog specifically for my journey and called it The Land Dang Under (My nickname in the Philippines is Dang and it is in no way a curse over there, hehe).

I'm pretty sure I will not be able to continue it there so in this post I will just relocate the entries here.

This is the first one from July 18, 2016:

This is the unpublished one from June 20, 2017 when we were not yet sure if our visa will be approved after shelling out 400 thousand pesos: 

Yep, even for once in our life we'll be forced to organize:

Another insecure post trying to rationalize the struggle:

So now I got the chronology then I can start from the beginning and let these unpublished ones guide me. I hope to remember everything because I really wanted to look back to this blog years from now and be reminded of how for one night I slept and dreamt and then woke up living the dream.

Land Down Under

I was updating my LinkedIn profile last night and saw a section where one is allowed to link their social media accounts. I remembered this blog, so now I have a lot of catching up to do.

I have migrated here in Melbourne Australia last month with my family coming over at the start of next year. I wanted to write about the migration process just so I can be a good resource to others doing their research, who I happen to be the last two years. I want to talk about the travel itself and how I am coping with life as a new migrant here, the weather, the job market, the places, the language and a lot more.

Note to Self

At work, either you irritate somebody else or somebody rubs you wrongly.

The way you lead is a function of your values as a person. - RR

I am Ready

I finally felt I am ready to hand over this sheet of paper from a week-long weighing.

Of course there's going to be what ifs but we've come to a decision made not in haste and it just felt right.

I am ready.

Restless

You know you outta do something if everything seem to not fall into place.

I felt contented for a while, not wanting to destroy the calm of knowing how things will end even when I have yet to begin. 

Of having to know what could go wrong, of knowing more than not knowing.

Then I woke up one day suddenly feeling strange. 

Of feeling the challenge to test my limits... again. 

Of feeling unsure.

I think it is in these moments that we either respond or never bother to.

And yes I will respond regardless of the regrets it's going to give me after.

Regardless of the good I'm going to get after.

I am restless.

Mama Memoirs Part 2 (Naguilian District Hospital)

Si Mama M lalagnatin kapag hindi makaluwas sa loob ng isang linggo. Ako naman, laging nilalagnat kaya niluluwas halos linggo-linggo.

Kaya naging boarder ako sa Room4 na isa sa mga private rooms ng Naguilian District Hospital. Usual na sa akin ang matusukan ng dextrose, lagyan ng board ang kamay, at tusukan ng supository sa puwet.

Isang midwife si mama sa Bagulin at malapit na kaibigan nya si Doctor Hector Benas. He is Dr Benas to everybody but to me he is the doctor who would come and say you may now go home, sign my release papers, and chat with mama yet again na parang antagaaaal tagal nilang hindi nagkita at hindi nauubusan ng pinagkukuwentuhan whichever order they prefer. I would fondly remember him as the man in white who's always had the stethoscope hanging by his neck. He had that distinct voice na makikilala mo agad na sya yun kahit hindi pa sya nakakarating sa room mo. Bigla ko syang namiss at gusto ko syang mameet ulit kung mareremember pa kaya nya ako.

Madami akong magaganda at malulungkot na alaala sa NDH. Noon, bago ka makapasok sa driveway ng hospital, makikita mo dun ung taong grasa na si Tony. Hindi ko na nga alam kung buhay pa un ngaun pero naging parte sya ng alaala ko kasi palagi akong takot at may kaba tuwing nasa malapit sya. Tipong baka bigla ka na lang habulin o kaya batuhin ng graba.

Excited din ako palagi kapag oras na ng kainan na lagi lang ding nauuwi sa walang ganang pagkain kasi nga hindi umuubra ang taste buds. Nakakatuwang panoorin ang pagdating ng mga stainless trays na may mga food partitions para sa kanin, dalawang ulam, at panghimagas.

May isang pagkakataon din na dumalaw si Auntie T, ang tita kong fairy godmother na syang forever kong pinagkakautangan ng magandang buhay ko ngayon. Naaalala ko talaga yung dala nyang Cream-O chocolate na nasa octagon box. Ganto ang itsura nya pero kulay blue. Gandang ganda ako kasi ang ganda ng bukasan. Pag isasara mo para syang flower. Hindi madaling makakain ng chocolate dati at lalong hindi ka mabibigyan ng basta basta kung wala din lang okasyon (kiber kung ang okasyon ay ang pagkakaconfine ko) o kung wala kang kamag-anak na balikbayan. Napakaspecial ng feeling ko noon. Feeling ko gagaling na ako agad.

Maliban sa lagi akong naoospital nung bata ako, fast forward to third year high-school, dito din ako naadmit nang madengue ako. Medyo vague ang memory pero naaalala ko na noong day na pauwi na kami ni Anti Pacing, ang aking dakilang tagabantay, ay kinailangang tanggalin ang aking dextrose. Sabi diinan ko daw yung pinagturukan. Nanghihina pa rin ata ako siguro noon at naibaba ko ang kamay ko kaya biglang sumirit ang dugo. Eeew. 

Dito ko din nafeel ang isang napakagandang uri ng pagmamahal ni Daddy R. Read story here.

At ang dalawa sa pinakaspecial na memory ko dito sa NDH ay noong ipinanganak ako ni Mama dito sa mundong ibabaw at ang paglisan din ni Mama para makapagpahinga na sa paraiso ni Papa God.

February 25, 1997. Nasa morning class ako bilang Grade 4-Dahlia transferee sa Naguilian Elementary School. Inilipat ako dito galing sa Bagulin Central School dahil sa biglang lumalang kondisyon ni Mama M na pitong taon nang nakikibaka sa sakit na cancer. Nakita ko si Uncle Roman na biglang dumungaw sa pinto at nag-excuse me kay Mam Tamzon. Pagkatapos nilang mag-usap tinawag na ako ni Mam at sinabing pwede na akong sumama kay uncle sa araw na iyon. 

It was a little hazy remembering that day right now because it hurts a lot. I was 10 years old and only understood cancer as the sickness that took away mama's breast. I did not comprehend that it also took away a lot of my growing up years without her. 

Pagdating namin sa Room J ata yun, ung pinakadulong room sa south wing nakita ko si mama sa hospital bed na pinupunasan ang lips ng cotton na ni-dip sa water. May lemon pa akong naaalala maybe they used it too to moisten her lips. Hirap na pala syang huminga noon even with her oxygen tank on kaya sa mouth na sya humihinga. Daddy was there, Manong Ryan, Uncle Roman, and Tuddingan peeps. Manong Ev was en route from DMMMSU because he was first year high school then. 

I think I was told to go hug her and I didn't even know if I did. I hope I did. And it hurts a lot now placing myself in that moment and knowing that that is the last hug we're ever going to share. All other movements in the room became hazy again then I remember a priest coming in reading his small book of prayer of anointment to mama. Now I can see how she would gasp for air as she listens, her eyes blankly staring but with tears falling once in a while. I will never know what those tears were for but hoped were of peace and forgiveness. She then went and I had to be told that mama had already gone. I did not know how to react amidst the crying, I didn't even shed a tear right away - something I would do for so many years after.

Then time passed by. I believe that I can write as vividly and articulately now -

maybe because time healed all the deepest wounds, even those that went right through the heart; 

maybe because I wanted to walk back in time if only to be reminded of how beautiful every moment spent with loved ones is, even the trivial ones;

maybe because I need to let them out so I can fill it with new ones.

It took me twenty years of crying. I did a post entitled Mama Merced and another entitled Daddy Rudy back in 2009 and posted in Friendster but lost them when the site closed. I spent two days writing each not because I did not have anything to write but because I cry each time I try to finish. I even got a feedback saying he cried reading them - that's how it hurt before. Hits right through each time. I still got teary eyed yesterday and had to continue now but not as close to what I went through that time.

I am older now, much more in good terms with letting go and death. While there are times we go through life unscathed - of which we'll always be thankful of - I'll always look differently at NDH as that place where death becomes much more meaningful by the kind of life it was lived in.