Saturday, June 8, 2013

8-7=2


It's true - mataas ang standard ko sa pakikipagkaibigan. Hindi yung tipong kung sino'ng dumating, pwede na. Hindi rin pwede yung aanga-anga. Iba yun sa slow kasi walang lunas yung una. Ayoko rin ng plastik - yung tatawa sa joke ko kasi kaibigan ko sya. Kung kaibigan kita, nasabihan mo na ako ng waley sabay ng walang hanggang pang-aasar sa 'bog' moment ko. As in walang hanggan  hangga't hindi nila nakakalimutan.  Ang gusto ko yung hindi pikon – yung naniniwalang napakaiksi ng buhay para sayangin sa walang kapararakang bagay. Ang gusto kong kaibigan yung makikinig sa yo kahit pati ikaw hindi mo mahanap ang point pati na sa mga pagkakataong gusto mong ipakita sa kanya kung nasaan ang point o kung wala na kayong mapag-usapan dahil wala nang point.

Yung tumatahimik pag wala ka sa mood at napapatahimik ka pag wala sya sa  mood. Yung makikipagmatigasan sa yo sa kung ano’ng paniwala nya pero hindi ka pipiliting umayon sa kanya. Yung hindi nahihiyang ipagmalaki sayo ang mga kalakasan nya at ibida sa yo ang mga kashungahan nya sa buhay. Yung tipong parang naipause lang na video ang kwentuhan pagkakita nyo matapos ang ilang araw, buwan o taon ang dumaan.


Bakit ganun ang pamantayan ko? Iba kasi ang depinisyon ko sa pakikipagkaibigan. Hindi yung tipong pag umalis, tangay na. Kung kaibigan kita, maniwala ka hanggang ngayon kahit ano man ang nangyari sa dumaang panahon, nararamdaman mo pa rin ako. Kung kaibigan kita, nababasa mo ito ngayon. 

Shoelaces



I haven’t been too reflective lately just looking at some pictures. Or just listening to a song. Or while cooling down from a workout. Or about just anytime a thought strikes me and bullets right through the tearducts.
I‘ve changed a lot lately just gauging from how I tie my shoelace and my life perspective in general. I hug often; I say I love you every day more often than I did in my teenage years. I still pick up fight about petty things but not as often as I let go of them before it boils to a fight. I’m learning to say sorry if it’s my fault as well as know when I am at fault. This is the hardest by the way. If you don’t find it hard, you must be very saintly or you’re a hypocrite.

Speaking my mind has also been a very big leap. When I was younger I was afraid because I might hurt somebody. It’s just lately that I realized if I let fear get in the way just as how many thank you’s and very good’s and that’s a very good idea and you’re making me laugh am I putting to no use? I also think it fair to say that’s not right and I didn’t feel good about what you said or why don’t you do this instead to let them know something is amiss and should be righted. Feedback is the most held back gift we can give because its art ate the better side of it.

Remember that “where will you be in 5 years” question? That’s visionary. If you don’t have an answer to it yet, you should go to your room and never get out till you do. It need not be overwhelming as turning millionaire overnight- we know how things amortize this side of earth – but as long as your answer lets you see through why you are doing or not doing things today, we are on the same page. Why else should you stay breathing if you are living just to breathe?

Have I told you I play the piano for our church when I was in grade five until occasionally? Came with that were those “I am a daughter of God!” eureka moments. It was a music ministry so I learned to pray through a song. If I don’t feel like it, I just play the piano. I didn’t have to push myself to sing. My Father understands. Some years I just play the piano and I may have found my voice because I’m singing again. Homing, however long it takes, is a very good key to getting ahold of the essentials.  I can assure you, your Father is listening.
Now you’re bored but I’m just getting to my point. It’s normal. Boring is made for us to talk to ourselves and talk back. It’s a good exercise.

When I was a kid and my dad used to have this stash of big cameras when slim cameras are fad, I wouldn’t be able to cut my birthday cake until I’m finished posing for him. He takes our photograph on just about any special occasion there is. He must have been very passionate on his hobby spending a lot on films and having these developed! Years later? I am one heck of a lucky daughter! I can show those old photographs to my child and I can tell stories about them.

Photographs freeze moments in time. So take them any time you fancy and store right where nobody can steal them. Not all of us have those big or slim cameras but we have the best macro and aperture settings with about 500mp plus a zillion mb built-in memory camera. Go figure out why you can’t remember who’s sitting in front of you in grade three.

As to how I tie my shoelaces – I don’t. I keep them tied when I take them off so I wouldn't have to tie it back when I put them on. There’s too much time but I have wasted enough.