I realized over the long Christmas break how much of my time I robbed Gabby of. It was a Christmas break that I enjoyed because I get to make her milk and bathe and fight and cuddle with her.
It was a different thing coming home to Gabby and be a mother for a while until I needed to be out again and leave her with Manang Shasha. Ate took her full break that's why that vacation I have her from the time I open my eyes until I sleep. It was exhausting because I am not used to it.
I get to see how grown up she has become, I get to lose my patience and pick up some of it afterwards. I get to brush her teeth and hide candies so she can't eat them and lie that Lolo took them away. I get to tell her that Mon-mon will eat the cavities in her teeth if she eats more candy.
I get to see how well she can dance the Nae-nae, I find her cute singing the Dessert song. I even Googled the lyrics so I can teach her the rest of it. I get to see how well she can sing Bahay Kubo in the videoke even if she actually just memorized the whole song rather than read it from the tv. I get to see how behaved and ill-behaved she could get at times.
At the back of my head, this is Christmas. This is my gift from God. That from all the work and studying which I sincerely do for Gabby's future also, I was given that break to reconcile with my own reasons of doing things.
Just like the flashcards I made for her, I will always want to be reminded that even when I got them in my head, actually doing one once in a while makes me learn more than becoming only an expectator.
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