ukay ukay

i am using my oldest corporate top right now. it dates back when i was a minor trying to look of authority in front of our college FS panel. it's funny how i would put the top at the back of my closet not intending to wear it again - and when i clean up i find myself using it again. it looks old to me now but i still am comfortable wearing it.

it's funny when you wear something old that old times come to you instantly. it was never a problem to me, i have a hard time letting go of old things - i am a pack rat. i don't know if this is a good attitude but the feeling of something familiar in a constantly changing atmosphere lets me stop for a while and get back to the things i really want.

i wore this top and it sort of put me back to that room where all i wanted is to tell my panel to get on with it and i'm out. i left that room - wearing what was then a brand new top - wearing my first successful grin. it brought me back today that kind of success - and no it did not get old.


my mother's earrings she got from her mother who had it from her father is another of those i find very mysterious. it is the only heirloom i have, my only connection to the older generation of the family. in two occasions i thought i lost one forever and i can't explain the loss that came with it. for about a month i can't get over how i got so neglectful of a very important thing. i am very convinced i lost it in school as the lock has gotten loose. then as i come from school i found the earring hanging on a nail in our hallway. how the hell did it get there? it looked the same but to me it didn't look old anymore. it has become a new link to something i would want to pass on to my children.

now that earring has a special place in my closet, locked up with all the other old lucky tops i'll always hold dear in my heart.